We all tend to get a little egoic at times and feel sorry for ourselves, no matter how spiritual and self aware we are. I am just as guilty of that as the next and although I have admittedly seen a hard last year, I truly have so much to be grateful for. I’ve tried to keep track of it all but I don’t think I’ve really thanked all the people that were there for me in one way or another. So this is a very special gratitude list today and will just be the people that I am grateful for at this moment in time that have one way or another contributed something very valuable to my life in the last year, mostly love, in a way that reminds me that I’m NEVER alone. Ever. Even in fleeting moments, I have gained so much in the way of love, perspective, strength, and most importantly a feeling of importance and a reason to get up in the morning!
These people have been there for me in so many ways. They laughed with me, cried with me, held me close, gave me food, gave me shelter, taught me lessons about life and myself, gave me perspective and contrast even in the most difficult moments, freed me from attachments, listened to and forgave me for my darkest confessions. They’ve embraced who I was, but most importantly, who I am NOW. They’ve planned with me and helped me to dream. In some cases they simply let me go so I could try to fly on my own. They are far more important than any of the THINGS that I could be grateful for in life. Some are my family, some are my friends, teachers, the ones that make up my forbidden sanctuary, my partners in business and creativity and so much more. So in no order in particular… here it is and to make sure it was completely fair and no one would feel more or less important than anyone else, I’ve used this randomizer for the list.
Everyone from Ananda House
Everyone from the Viscera Organization
Kathy Harrelson (R.I.P.)
Everyone from MUFON LA
Ralph ‘Wolf’ McCarron
Everyone from Burbank LOA
Kathy Hobson (R.I.P.)
Sean “Thumper” Kingaard (R.I.P.)
Everyone from MBE
Tara Lynn Foxx
Rheana Angel Powers
Andrew Di Lorenzo
Stacy Pippi Hammon
Jeff Dylan Graham
Everyone from Lovestock 2012
Robin Larsen Blaydes
Emma La Rue
If there’s anyone I left out, I’m sorry. This is 200 people. I have been so fortunate to have been given love, support, laughter, lessons, strength, ideas, praise, acknowledgement, recognition, guidance, conversation, perspective, inspiration, and so much more from the people on this list and can you believe, in just the last year or so, I’ve had the honor of actually being in the presence of 92% of this list? That’s a lot of people and I’m so so so so grateful for every soul that has shared space with mine. And now all I can really say is:
I only recently found out about this but I suppose the vibe is out there because I was already on target to make this happen! I’m glad there’s still time. Any of you want to jump on board?
FOUR YEARS. GO. is a campaign to change the course of history. The next four years will determine the quality of life on this planet for the next 1,000 years. There is still time to act, but no time to waste. For more information go to http://www.fouryearsgo.org.
I saw this video in the Tony Robbins screening room and it was something I felt compelled to share. We ARE all powerful beyond measure. We choose to be small because that is simply easier. So many of us have negative thoughts embedded in us about success and wealth and what that really means. In studying the subject myself, I’ve found that many people choose a life of mediocrity because it means less responsibility they have to take on, they see wealthy people as greedy, power as corruption and so forth. Some of us just don’t feel like we are the type of person that can or deserves to have that kind of success.
That is not the case in every situation, however, and we fail to realize that. With wealth comes the ability to help others and support noble causes. With power comes the ability to create positive change in your life, in your community and even the world. Choosing to be powerful, claiming the power that we all have within us, allows you to be a positive person if that’s what you choose. We all deserve to be that person and there is more than enough abundance in the world for everyone to have the wealth and power we desire. We all make mistakes but even people that society had written off have turned it around and used their mistakes to change the lives of others for the better. Hardened criminals have spent decades in prison to come out and mentor kids away from that lifestyle. Hackers and criminals that have ruined lives and businesses have turned their experiences and knowledge into ways to protect others and stop people from succeeding in the crimes they have in the past.
Everyone deserves it. It’s something that I’ve had to accept in my own life. Something I’ve had to think about with myself. No one is perfect and I am far from it, but I don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. I am always doing better than someone else. That is a fact. No matter what my mistakes were, I’ve always been stronger than someone, I’ve always had more than others and I’ve always been able to learn something. It doesn’t mean that I’m proud of my mistakes or that I would necessarily do them over again, but what it does mean is that I believe I have an ability to turn every situation into a positive situation, no matter what. It’s a choice.
Claim your power, your purpose and your meaning. Claim yourself. The person that deep down inside you are meant to be. What is it? Who is it? What is your purpose? How can you change other people’s lives? How can you be an inspiration or a conduit of change for one person or the entire world? Stand up and be powerful because you truly are powerful beyond measure. We all are. The universe hasn’t worked for billions of years to create everything we can see just in the visible universe, every bit of this planet teeming with life, from the highest peaks of the mountains to the cracks in the deepest depths of the ocean, to your creation and survival today. All of this didn’t happen for you to simply waste your life. What can you do to make a difference today? Just one thing in your own life, no matter how small it is? How about something minor you can do for someone else? Sometimes, all it takes for you to make a difference for yourself or someone else is a little bit of gratitude and a smile. It’s that simple, but you power beyond measure to do even more than that, but it’s all up to you.
We all have profound moments in our life, things that just strike us and teach us something so deep about ourselves or life that they can’t be ignored. I’ve had 4 of those in just a matter of days and it’s led to a lack of sleep and some really deep thoughts, but I’m so grateful for them.
We have a habit of getting so lost in ‘reality’ that we sometimes lose site of our dreams. You can see it everyday in people that are stressed out and swallowing handfuls of pills for any number of stress related illness or dis-ease. I am still guilty of this to a sense. I still have a bottle of Ativan in my purse from 6 months ago with just a couple left JUST IN CASE. I need to let go of that and just face life head on and you should to. But that was a rabbit trail there.
I watched a two and a half hour documentary of compiled footage from the 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami that affected much of South East Asia. It’s also officially the largest scale disaster that has happened in recent history but arguably has had the largest impact on the world primarily because there was so much footage and documentation of it. Over 300,000 lives were lost that day in several countries, however, the stories that we’re left with of survival and second chance are the ones that were probably meant to be taken from that if the Universe had anything to say.
One particular image that really had an effect on me that I saw from that day was an old gentleman in his 70′s who was swept up by the waves, 13 feet in the air and he was clinging to a banister of a hotel balcony while all sorts of debris floated past him, pummeling him while he tried to hang in there. He fought for his life, in spite of the fear, the pain and everything that came with that and he survived. The waters swept him in, he held his ground, they tried to pull him back out and he didn’t budge and he survived. He easily could have reasoned that it wasn’t worth the fight and he was at the end of his life anyway, but he didn’t give up. What amazed me is that he still goes back to the island again and again. Why? Because just because a once in a lifetime experience knocked him off his feet, he still knew there was beauty and experience and knowledge to be gained and a reclaiming of something that once was and is now arguably better than it was before.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m by no means saying the tsunami was necessarily a good thing and that the lives lost weren’t a tragedy, but I’m saying that in spite of it all, life goes on and there is always something good and positive to take out of any situation, no matter how negative it appears at first and no matter how much it hurts you and pushes you towards your own death be it cancer, or a heartbreak, the loss of a child or any other massive blow to your existence that shakes you to your core… it all has a purpose and it’s your job to find it! It’s your job to figure out what can be done to turn this into something positive. Think of the foundations, laws and new protections we have because of the loss of a child’s life (America’s Most Wanted, Megan’s Law, etc.). That child did not live nor die in vain even if it seems they were taken far too soon, their life left a legacy and a purpose.
There were other profound moments too, however, I’m not trying to write a novel (don’t worry, it will come eventually) so just let me share with you some points that I have learned, and I mean profoundly touched and changed my perspective on everything, just in the past few days:
Color is it’s own reward – color is a reward. The colors of life, the colors of love, the colors of the universe. Just the ability to be alive and experience them and have the opportunity to appreciate a thing of beauty in and of itself is a miracle. Treasure every moment.
1% of your existence is form – the other 99% lives on a plane most of us don’t understand. If we would stop focusing so much on the form, our physical presence, and realize our metaphysical and spiritual presence, we can thrive! There’s so much for us to create, so much for us to allow, so much for us to observe, why waste a single moment distracted from all of that possibility by focusing on our physical existence only?
Love is ALWAYS the answer – again, no matter what your situation is, love is always the answer. Always. Just today I explained it using a couple as an example. Let’s say they’re at a crossroads and don’t know what to do. The way I see it is that there are only 2 options. Admit to themselves and each other that they have not been serving each other as should be done in a relationship and then take the steps needed to love that person (as a verb, not just an emotion) and yet on the other hand if they can admit that they just cannot serve each other, even if it’s just one of the individuals, they have to be able to love that person enough to let them go and wish them their happiness instead of keeping them in a miserable place because it’s simply comfortable.
Don’t expect, instead accept – People will almost never live up to your expectations, whether your expectations are good or bad. It rarely happens in life. Time and again people I didn’t trust ended up being my best allies and people I trusted ended up hurting me more than I care to revisit. Instead of expecting anything out of anyone, just accept them for who they are and allow them to be who they wish to be as opposed to who you wish them to be. By doing this, not only do you alleviate them from the obligation to live up to your standards, whether they realize it or not, you are also allowing yourself to take in some learning and observation that might teach you something quite valuable that you wouldn’t have seen before.
Honesty is not always the best policy and silence is golden – this goes back to choosing love. Sometimes, our thoughts or feelings or even our past experiences are better left unsaid. It’s not necessarily always the most loving thing to share information that we know will only hurt someone and serves no purpose to them. Why would you point out a birthmark on someone when they already know it exists and probably aren’t proud of it? Why instill more insecurity and disapproval into them. The loving thing to do is to leave it alone and put it away and instead show them true love by allowing them to be comfortable in your presence without judgement. At the same time, sharing past experiences from former partners, for instance, doesn’t always serve the receiver of that information. I’ve always been one that wants to be in on all the gory details but I realize now that sometimes, those details will only hurt me or others and there’s a reason certain things are none of my business. After all, as the saying goes, it’s better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and prove it.
You have to die at least once in your life – I don’t mean the physical death where you move onto the spiritual dimension, but truly, a devastating blow that makes you feel like you’ve died inside. Facing our fears and succumbing to them once in awhile. Donald Trump and many others that are easy to admire have said there is no truly no success without failure and I’m seeing now how that is true! There is risk in everything in life. Just breathing the air around you puts you at risk of illness, but you can’t stop breathing! And you might think you’ve been successful living your life playing it safe, but then you’ve never really risked that amazing jump out of a plane either. Experiencing a set back in life should not be the end of your life. It should be the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one. A new chapter that now has lessons and inspiration behind it to create any dream you desire and something even better than what you would have had before if you had never let go in the first place and surrendered to that moment. It kind of goes against what I said earlier about fighting on the surface, but when you really think about it, it’s the acceptance of that moment where you ‘die’ and become something new. Dig deeper inside.
There’s always something to be grateful for – until you take your last breath of this physical form, there is absolutely no reason to choose to be anything but grateful, even if it’s just the gratitude of opportunity and chance. The opportunity and chance that you will/can turn it all around. Until that last breath is out of you, there is beauty around you, contrast, something to learn, something to experience and all of that is enough to be grateful for! Even on your deathbed, don’t face that with death, be grateful for the time you had here and grateful for the next phase of existence. Even in the most difficult, challenging or painful situations, there is plenty to be grateful for and unfortunately too many of us fail to see that and I waited far too long to realize it. The more things you appreciate and are joyful about, the more that expands in your life. What you focus on is what you get. You are what you think all day long as a wise man once said and so focus on the good things so you can have those good things and much more of them.
Variety is the spice of life – we didn’t come into this world to do the same things day after day after day. We came into this world with countless trillions of opportunities to experience something and yes that number is correct! We have the opportunity to experience trillions of different things. That was really hard for me to wrap my mind around at first but I get it now. We have to step out of our comfort zones once in awhile to try something that will add to our experience in life. If you don’t try anything new and break the ruts in your life, how will you ever find anything that is better than what you already have and no matter how good you have it, it can always be better. Don’t get stuck in something comfortable. Challenge yourself and if you fail, refer back to Donald Trump.
Keep your focus forward – there’s no use for rear view mirrors and I know I’ve talked about this in other blog postings. It’s not just about not looking back, but looking forward, as in the future and it’s progression in a positive way. There’s no reason to look backwards on life’s hard times or hurts. There’s no reason to veer off in a negative direction dwelling on negative ‘what if’ thoughts. If the what ifs are going to happen, they’re going to happen, but by having a clear focus on exactly what you want that will make you happy and give you the life that you truly desire, you’re only expanding your chances of succeeding and will find yourself feeling generally more upbeat, positive and happy. You’ll find more happy moments instead of sad moments. You’ll find more strength rather than weaknesses and you’ll begin to truly appreciate the things you already have. More importantly, you’ll start to recognize and realize the situations and people in your life that were well placed by the universe to guide you in the right direction. There’s so much out there to be had. Take it!
You are perfect right now – and you will be in every other moment of your existence. This is meant to be taken in several ways. First of all, in regards to your physical form, again, it only represents 1% of your existence. So much weight is placed on physical appearance when it is such a minor aspect of our existence and from my perspective, the amount of money and time wasted on appearances is a waste when that money can be better spent on other experiences that will serve us much more. That being said, getting fit and staying fit has it’s place in life. Of course you will have an easier time climbing that mountain or sky diving or any other goals one might have, let alone a longer life expectancy, if you are healthy, but is there really a need for a spray tan? I don’t mean to judge because I have my faults too, but I do sincerely believe that people are chasing the wrong sense of fulfillment. The average cost of a spray tan in my neighborhood according to Yelp is $20. That’s $20 spent on something that will be gone and really served little purpose in your life as opposed to 4 or 5 cups of coffee or 10 cups of tea over great conversation with someone stimulating. Which has the greater pay off in the end. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I’ve come to learn that the right people will love me for the 99% of my existence that feeds their soul as opposed to the 1% that feeds their eyes. I am a beautiful person, even at my size, but there’s no reason for me to trifle over such petty things when I was born perfect and remain perfect at all times in my existence and you are too! As far as our personal and spiritual existence being perfect, you are always just in the right mindset you need to be to take you to the next step/level of your existence and awareness. It’s up to you when you choose to make the move, but right now you have so may choices in front of you, just as I do and each of them will serve a purpose for you, but always choose the one that will serve the HIGHEST possible purpose and greatest satisfaction in the end.
Transitions can be painful but are always worth it in the end – just like childbirth, life has transition points which normally are the most painful for us in our life, but there is great reward on the other side. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve held hands with someone during a difficult period of their life only to see a bigger smile on their face than ever before just months later if not weeks later. Whether it’s a financial, romantic, career or any other transition, even a seemingly negative outcome can give us the inspiration we need to make the next transition into something better than we had before and most of the time, the outcome is just plain positive.
That which doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger – I remember hearing this and making it my mantra even in my teen years which were arguably the most difficult in my life. I believe it is because of these words that I’m still alive today and have made it as far as I have in my life. That being said, it still applies and it applies to every aspect of our life, once again, because if it doesn’t kill you, even if it weakens your physical existence, surviving those challenges only makes us stronger in our mind, our hearts and personal resolve.
Nothing is permanent – there’s not much to say about this other than appreciate it while it lasts and let everyone and everything around you know how much you love it and are grateful for it. You never know when it will be the last time.
Of course there’s more, but I think I’ve made a clear point here. Sadly, some will never understand any of this and will choose a miserable existence at best, however, for those who are aware and wish to break free from the human bounds these will find their way into your heart too. Most of these things I’ve heard before but they just never really hit home until these past few crazy days. I hope you can take something from this.
World War II could not have been anything short of horrific for those that were there. Poland alone lost over 16% of it’s population which means that 1 out 6 people living in Poland at the time lost their life from that war and in total, over 78,500,000 people died in that war from 1937 to 1945. Even my family tree lost some valuable limbs as soldiers and unfortunate casualties, even some in the concentration camps. Two years into this tragedy, comedian Charlie Chaplin wrote, directed and starred in the film “The Great Dictator” which was intended as a parody on Hitler. In his character’s closing speech, he said some very valuable things that should have been listened to closer by the people in power at the time. Sadly, they continued on for another 5 years.
I hope that someday we will look at the wisdom of the “hippies” and that all of us will learn to play nice and we can truly thrive as a species on this planet. Here is his closing speech and please listen carefully at how prophetic it was even back then.
When it comes to break ups, it never ceases to amaze me how crappy people can be. Why do break ups have to be nasty? I have never thought they should be, but if you’re gonna play dirty, expect to get mud in the face.
What really surprises me, however, are the vultures that come flocking, not because they care, not because they are ready to be the one to pick up the pieces, but because they see a vacancy sign on someone’s heart and simply crave attention and someone to take care of them. Doesn’t the damaged one deserve someone that would take care of them?
No matter what, I will always defend the ones I love and just because its time to move on does not mean that I no longer have love in my heart for that person. It may mean that I just see that one or both of our lives may be better served with some time and space apart. So when I see someone being opportunistic of a situation and taking advantage of someone I care about, don’t expect me to just stand aside and let it happen. My motivations are out of love, believe it or not.
Don’t be a dirty chick. Just don’t do it.
We all need a rebound once in awhile, but rebounds don’t have to be people. They can be a new form of spirituality, a new hobby, a brief tryst with something crazy you’ve always wanted to do. Take the negative and turn it into something positive. Surround yourself with supportive people and situations. Things that inspire. Things that push you to make yourself a better person because none of us are perfect and always have room for growth. Always.
Random thought: why is it that there are so many cultures can find beauty and inspiration and happiness, even bliss at times, in the simplest things in life and we as Americans can’t have a basic human respect for each other more often than not? Despicable.